On Aging: What if it's not about getting old?

Aging, as most people understand it, is quite possibly one of the biggest lies we’ve been sold.

We’re told that getting older means breaking down—that after a certain age, pain, stiffness, fatigue, decline, and chronic ailments are inevitable. That it’s just “part of life.”

But what if that’s not actually true? Or at least, what if it’s not the whole story?

What if the dysfunction we associate with aging has less to do with the passage of time and more to do with the accumulation of inauthentic choices?

Let’s explore a metaphor, shall we? Think of life as a buffet—an endless spread of experiences, habits, and beliefs. The way you move through life’s phases is a direct reflection of what you’ve been choosing from the buffet all along.

0-30: The Phase of Exploration – Sampling the Buffet of Life

In the first three decades of life, we’ve hopefully been encouraged to try everything—to load up our plates with a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

Ideally, we’re given the space to explore freely, follow curiosity, and develop a taste for what truly nourishes us.

But that doesn’t always happen.

Some of us were handed a pre-selected plate—one piled high with what parents, teachers, or authority figures believed was “right” for us.

🔹 “You should focus on a stable career.”

🔹 “You should date someone responsible.”

🔹 “You should follow this path because it’s what our family does.”

And before we even get the chance to explore, our selection from the buffet is already decided for us.

Others get more freedom—they experiment with relationships, careers, hobbies, and lifestyles. We say yes to things we’re curious about, things we’re pressured into, and things we think we should do.

Some of it is nourishing.

Some of it is junk.

Some of it makes us sick.

The problem? Society pressures you to commit to a full plate before you even know what you actually like.

Instead of refining what truly works for you, you’re often told what’s “healthy” or “acceptable” to put on your plate—whether it actually nourishes you or not.

Right around 30, you’re officially welcomed to adulthood. You’ve got a fully developed frontal lobe, and you’re realizing that you no longer have to play by anyone else’s rules (or buffet recommendations).

Now it’s up to you to decide:

🔹 Do I actually like what I’ve been putting on my plate?

🔹 Or have I just been doing what I was told?

This is your first major opportunity to start choosing with intention—to fuel the kind of life you actually want to live.

30-60: Refining the Menu – What Are You Choosing?

By now, you’re no longer just sampling life—you’re going back for seconds and thirds of the things you choose the most.

For better or worse, your plate is becoming more consistent.

The good choices? They nourish you.

The misaligned choices? They drain you.

At this stage, your body starts reflecting what you’ve been consuming—physically, mentally, and energetically.

Some people start paying attention and making changes—swapping out what doesn’t sit well with them.

Others double down on their choices, even when they know they’re harmful.

If you’ve ever met someone in their 40s or 50s who seems 10 years younger than their peers, it’s not random. They’ve been feeding themselves differently—energetically and physically.

But this phase of life isn’t just about personal choices—it’s also about balancing those choices with roles, responsibilities, and expectations.

By now, you may have a family to care for, a career to maintain, a mortgage to pay, and social circles that come with their own set of norms and expectations.

🔹 What if the way you’ve built your life doesn’t actually leave space for what you truly need?

🔹 What if your schedule is packed so full that there’s no time to hear what your body is telling you about any of it?

It’s easy to say you don’t have time to slow down.

That your life is too full.

That someday, you’ll prioritize yourself—but not yet.

And when you do have free time? It’s often spent in auto-pilot—beers with the guys, margaritas with the girls, scrolling on your phone, or filling the silence with entertainment.

Because sometimes, deep down, you already know what your body would say if you gave it the space to speak.

And if you’re not ready to face that truth, the easiest thing to do is keep yourself so busy that you never have to hear it.

Instead of changing the menu, many people start managing the discomfort of misalignment—through distraction, numbing, and avoidance.

It’s like continuing to eat a dish that you know gives you heartburn—but you keep piling it onto your plate because it’s familiar.

🔹 By 50, your body isn’t breaking down because of time. It’s reflecting the decades of choices you’ve made.

60+: Set in Your Ways – Even When It Gives You Heartburn

Now, you’ve been choosing from the buffet for a while. And at this stage, many people stop believing they can make new choices.

Even if they know that certain things don’t sit well with them, they tell themselves:

🔹 “This is just the way I am.”

🔹 “It’s too late to change now.”

🔹 “I’ve been eating this forever—why stop now?”

And this is where the biggest lie about aging takes hold:

People assume that feeling stiff, tired, in pain, or chronically unwell at this stage is a result of getting older, when in reality…

🔹 They’ve just been eating the same misaligned choices from the buffet for decades.

There is no doubt about it—life can be incredibly hard.

If you weren’t given the tools to navigate challenges, if you weren’t supported or encouraged to be your authentic self, sometimes the best you could do was just survive.

And that’s okay.

To say, “I did the best I could with what I had” is completely valid.

Just don’t attribute physical decline to aging like it’s something you have no control over.

You are not doomed for this to be your destiny.

Sure, it’s easier to make new choices earlier in life, but being of a certain age doesn’t mean it’s out of the realm of possibility.

At this point, some people will choose to make new choices.

They retire, become empty nesters, and find themselves with more time than ever before—and they decide to use that space to refocus on themselves and the kind of life they actually want to experience.

They change their diet, their relationships, their beliefs, their habits.

Others resign themselves to living with the heartburn—convinced that discomfort is just part of life now.

But here’s the truth:

🔹 The buffet is still open. You can still put new things on your plate.

🔹 Your body is still adapting. You can still shift, still choose, still heal.

Your legacy is still being created. The only question is:

🔹 Are you willing to step outside your buffet comfort zone?

Because growth and healing require change—and the older we get, the less appealing change tends to be.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been making selections that don’t fuel the kind of life you wish you had from the buffet of life—what matters is what you choose next.

What Are You Choosing?

What if aging poorly isn’t about time—but about the accumulation of misaligned choices?

💡 The best time to change your plate was 20 years ago. The second-best time? Right now.

So ask yourself:

🔹 Are you still filling your plate with things that don’t nourish you?

🔹 Are you stuck in cycles that don’t serve you—just because they’re familiar?

🔹 Do you believe it’s too late to try something new?

Because it’s not.

The buffet is always open.

And the truth is, your body, your energy, and your experience of life are all shaped by what you keep going back for.